1 year and 1 month

Yes, still counting days, hours, minutes, seconds together..

Today is 20th of December 2010. For the last 3days I'd been taking care of my sick hubby. He had fever, bad cough and colds. I was his nurse on duty since his family wasn't there to take care of him. I kept him warm since nowadays are really cold right now. I feed him cause he wasn't able to get up and stand, he was really weak poor hubbyoo!

We've been through a lot of circumstances already, it was tough for us two to adjust but we're getting to know each other well. The key is understanding each other! :) I l earned how to be patient and think of others first before myself.

I am to attach to him that I cant sleep when he's not around. Haha I feel like a child. Definitely wont go out without him specially when buying stuffs. But I still go out with some friends to hang out, it wasn't a issue. that's all for today!

16 years of sorrows

I could make it better but maybe I wont change. A phrase that I will surely be owning, I am in fact a sinner. What could you do to make this world the so called word Perfect? For me its not beating the against all odds but instead balancing this life we living for. Bad vs. Good!

Admit it or not, how many times have you committed mistakes? I assure everybody does a couple of times even for a single day. Maybe its me or even you. This is what troubles me: Do you know when are the times that you make things right? or making things worst? I am 21 years old. If counting my age is the times I tried making things right, does it count? Did I contribute a difference? Maybe yes or maybe no.

I have a good example of these things, in fact we are related through blood but not by heart. I am not sure with the whole story of this man but I know he did something ridiculous to each and everyone who he touched. I don't know where do I stand, if we are his first hand or second hand. But all I know someone's older. How did that happened? well someone came first before me and then as time passes he could take it "I guess" living with this crowd. He ran away, without explanations... And poof *it became koko crunch* WTF! No, take a guess now there's a third hand. All I know they are "amazingly" stable. HAHA! The sarcastic part of me. Why do I have to deal with this? This is too much. Can't they just vanished? Why in all places you are just near? Why the hell! HAHA Now, did he change? NO. But he made it better. For some who will be reading this wont guess who, why and how.. but for my closest friends might understand this if soon they will ask me.

He is a perfect example of each story that I will be creating, you are the evil within me. And I am happy hating you because I am becoming you. I want to be cleanse, shatter the sadness inside me. Next thing I will be doing is killing you :) For I know the next day I will be waking up from nightmares you had caused.

Jewel's original
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The Legendary Marcopon ;]]

I am all about LOVE today.
Marcopon- it all started when I played with lots of names of my dearest daddy turtle. It is one fun way of making lambing to him.. Does it makes sense to y'all, maybe you don't but for us it does!

Horraah! Currently on our 6th month formal relationship, I can say its formal because before we jump in to this serious relationship, we were really good friends, we hang out. We are in love! haha Yeah we do, we can tell on how we act. Our friends can tell also.. Anyway, I would like to share the bliss of having this man. I could list everything he does for me, day by day, time to time.

He is the most Sweetest, Understanding, Trust worthy man.
I can imagine my life (thinking ahead of time) living with him as we grow old.
I could be the happiest girl in the world if I would be married to this guy someday, he is a complete package for me, he makes me happy! Marc to me is like my own soul. He completes my whole being.. This is the man that I deserve to be with. :)
Jewel's original
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So there's this one girl who fell in love..
Look at her now, full of cherioos,
Spark in her eyes.
And now she's looking at the world on a bright side.

You guys witnessed how did it started..
Where, when and how did it happened.
For all we know this guy has been the reason..

I knew I felt it right, I made the right choice and decision.
You probably noticed how I changed,
The bubbly feeling he gave me.
There's no other place i'd rather be, than being with him.
I feel so safe. Comfortable.

It may seem so cheesy, and all that stuffs.
But there's no other way how to express this feeling that I have,
I know, he'll take care of me.

I love this guy so much,
with a warm heart who makes me happy.
that man I call Yatz :]

Jewel's original
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La la la..

I love you so deeply,

I love you so much!

I love the sound of your voice,

and the way that we touch

I love your warm smile

and your kind and thougtful way..

the joy that you bring

to my life everyday..

I love you today,

As I have from the start

And I’ll love you forever

with all of my heart!

Jewel's original
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The Dope Ass Queen

Goodiee eve.
I'm still stuck in front of my monitor. Thinking what would happen next.. I couldn't help but to used my time here and type what's on my mind, yes Im really bored!

Let's look up into the world today, make it specific the Philippine island itself. There will be up coming election, and it sucks. It'll be my first time to vote. Yeah, It is indeed a real pain in the ass to decide whom to vote for, they said its an individual's RESPONSIBILITY. Damn that word man! Its BIG! I hate to say who ever we will choose our country will stay the same, they say we are rich in many ways, may I say rich in corrupt peoples. Yeah, better widen up your eyes, its the real thing!

The church, oh hell no dude.. they keep on disagreeing about contraceptives, well look at the rate of early pregnancy, its huge.. abortion? yeah its still LEGAL here, though it is not really stated on the law but it is continuously practiced by some. Yes I know because we are the generation who deals with it. Abstinence? oh well teens are aggressive nowadays. It is also because of media influences.

Well here's another one, a racist. naah. Im not affected by this issue, lets just talk about people who reached their goals and look at them now they are sooo HIGH, you cant reach them. AND they treat people unequally! yeah being UNFAIR. I know one person who acts this way, and that person keeps on pushing them hard to give up instead of holding on. I just added this up because it suddenly popped out. Lol..

I dont know if you think this note made sense and if it made you realize if you contributed something meaningful to your own lives or others lives. Its just my own way of saying that be aware. Make a big difference! :)

I guess im done. Imma take a nap now. Tired and I enjoyed this day. Went to shop some clothing and food trip after.. What a day!

Jewel's original
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The Unknown Being.

Sometimes when I watch dramatic movies, I'm so disgusted by the way the actors act there or they way they reacted on their scenes or any given situations. (local TV series or movies). But then again it came to this point I saw my self from those situations.

Movie title: Betrayal.
Maybe I could make my own movie and entitled with that word, I guess and I think I was betrayed, im so helpless. This is what's on my mind, I kept the past for how many years already since I was 5 years old since I became aware of everything happened to me. I'm 20 turning twenty-one this coming august. Why did I bother search for some answers? Why did I bother look for them, what for? They don't even care. I know its true.

I found out they still hang out together, they still see each other. While, I am still EXISTING! It hurts, because I saw some evidences. You know what's worst? It reminds them of Me, but I think I was erased in their picture. TOTALLY erased. After what I saw a while ago, WHO I AM? that's the first question popped in my head. Its been 3 days since it happened, 3 sleepless nights! I'm scared,I'm so lost. I don't know how will I react! As far as I am concern, you left me without an explanation. If there is, it is not enough! I was even blaming you for all of the things that is happening to me, but because I respect you this much, I didn't think that way!

Are you SURPRISED? or I was SURPRISED?